Deals, Random Rants

Guest Post from Greg @ Telling Dad!

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While I’m enjoying the sights in sunny San Diego, I asked the ridiculously funny, ever charming and downright awesomely-awesome (has that word been entered into the dictionary yet?) Greg from TellingDad.com to come on over here and share his eloquent “money saving” wisdom with all of you!

Greg is a WAHD (what? that would be “Work at Home Dad”) to 3 little munchkins, married to one amazingly beautiful woman and the talent behind www.tellingdad.com!  If you have yet to pay him a visit, you are more than missing out on not only some amazing writing, but some serious laughs!  He keeps all of us on our toes, literally awaiting the next paragraph as he spills the details of his life as “Dad” in the most hilarious way possible!  I’m thrilled that he has taken the time to share a few laughs with all of you and if you find yourself wanting more, you can follow Telling Dad on Twitter! And because I just can’t keep any secrets from all of you……*cough* cough*

If you’d like to see Greg doing “Flirty Girl” Fitness (yea, you know the workout video where you are….well…a Flirty Girl) hop over to Telling Dad and be prepared to laugh out loud as he attempts to do a chair dance and dance with a feather Boa!  Sorry Greg…I had to do it!

So without further ado……..

When I offered to write a guest post for “Deal”ectible Mommies, I guess I didn’t realize just how focused she was on helping people find bargains, save money, and make smart buying decisions.

I’m terrible at this kind of stuff. So as I sit here writing without a destination in mind, I’m wondering what possible benefit I can provide to those who visited expecting money-saving nuggets of wisdom.

How can someone who habitually hemorrhages cash on a daily basis teach anything beyond a surefire way to avoid retirement? How can someone who refers to his car’s coin tray as his “savings account” help anyone improve themselves financially?

And then it hit me. My fiscal buffoonery can save people thousands!

They say hindsight is 20/20 and this is an understatement when it comes to me and money. Ask me to plan or look towards the future and I’m like Mr. Magoo with cataracts. Everything is a cloudy, murky haze. But ask me where I’ve gone wrong and I’m able to dissect my financial blunders with vivid clarity.

Did I learn from these mistakes? Heck no. But maybe you can.

Keep Your Children Away From Pokemon Cartoons
For those unaware, Pokemon cartoons are basically 30-minute infomercials for packs of trading cards. Each pack comes with a dozen or so cards and costs around $3-$4. Children of snookered parents everywhere then use these trading cards to battle each other until they realize the card they need for victory could be hidden in the next pack. Or the next pack. Or maybe this pack.

You won’t see any harm in buying one or two packs, but before you know it, you’ll helplessly watch as 3,200 Pokemon cards with an original cash value of $1,000 are sold at a garage sale for five bucks. Five. Bucks.

Another trading card enterprise is Yu-Gi-Oh, or as I call it, “Yu-Gi-Oh-My-God-Where-Did-All-My-Money-Go.” Exact same premise as Pokemon. Print a bunch of mythical creatures on playing cards, overcharge for them, and then air cartoons to create a legion of pantleg-tugging prepubescent beggars.

Trust me. Do what you must to avoid the cards. One pack and they’ve got you. The addictive powers are stronger than meth.

Cats Are Wonderful. When They Aren’t Yours.
Don’t get me wrong, I love cats. I just think people fail to realize how expensive they can be. They seem relatively cheap at first, especially if you adopt one, but the second you take a kitten into your arms, the meter starts running.

It’s not enough to calculate in the fact that you have to feed them every now and then, you also need to consider all of the collateral damage that occurs from cat ownership.

Cats will only puke on carpet or upholstered furniture. They avoid tile and hardwood floors like the plague because it’s far too easy for the witless providers to clean up. Those who naively think that having carpet cleaner on hand is enough are ridiculed by seasoned cat owners. For we have witnessed the staining power of cat expellant. In fact, if they made barf bags for cats, mine would have one strapped on 24/7.

Some cats, like ours, are also passive aggressive to a destructive fault. They don’t hiss or growl to voice their displeasure, they just pee on your most expensive shoes or deposit a healthy dose of what has to be the foulest smelling lump of matter on earth in your closet. You can’t kill cat odor with anything less than napalm, so when this happens to you, just move.

Understand the Difference Between a Want and a Need
One of my best talents is also one of my biggest faults as I have the ability to justify absolutely any purchase. Truth be told, I’d probably own a wildebeest if Best Buy sold them.

I actually have no idea how to teach you to recognize the difference between a want or a need because I can’t even do it myself. I just think it sounds like a promising concept.

As I tell my children, do as I say, not as I do, and that’s probably the best advice I can offer. Don’t be like me. I’ve probably wasted thousands of dollars over the years because I was too lazy to hunt for coupons or visit sites just like this one.

So I suppose if you’re here, you’re already way ahead of the game, and my best advice is to just keep on doing what you’re doing. Find those deals, hunt for those bargains, and make smart decisions. Just don’t brag about it when you see me in line at Best Buy. I already know I’ll be buying something I don’t need.

I just have no idea what it’ll be until I get there.

Disclaimer: Guest post written by Greg @ Telling Dad and yes it rocks!  No money was exchanged, although in the future I may buy him a latte because I like him.  Its also entirely possible that he may send me a used Pokemon Card with a SRP of $5, although this may translate into $0.02 for me.  Please note that this disclaimer is intended to entertain those within the FTC!

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